A younger family member figured out a way to jumpfart with his non-farting Aunt. He asked her to jump and then when she did, he farted! What a great trick, and funny too!
Good job, little farter. You jump, I fart…problem solved.
Jumpfarting does not cease to be funny, and yet not everyone appreciates a good jump fart. Be careful around the holidays with where and when you jumpfart. The relative who hasn’t seen you all year does not want to smell you while they pinch your cheeks…although a “cheek-pinching fart” might help remove any unwanted attention.
Once the jumpfart has been mastered, there are many other variations or editions to jazz it up a bit.
Door-hang Farts are fairly self-explanatory. While leaping up into a normal jumpfart, grab a doorway or entrance way by the trim and hang while the fart releases. This can be quite tricky, but once mastered, the possibilities are endless. Hang from monkey bars, rafters, or even the basketball hoop (that would be a slam dunk)!
Very similar to a poopy fart, the after-poopy Fart is safer but usually more potent to the nose.
You might not think it possible, but after a satisfying bowel movement there can still be air trapped on the other side. To be an after-poopy Fart, the fart must come within an hour following deposition, and must smell less like a gassy fart and much more like real fecal matter.
The most common after-poopy fart trait is a deep, loud motor-like rumble and an actual poop smell. One word of caution though: if there is any question that you haven’t finished removing all fecal matter from your system do not push out an after-poopy fart; you might not be finished!
After-poopy farts feel great and smell horrible. Although, staining is not a common after-poopy fart issue, it is still best to avoid jumpfarting until a good amount of gas is back in the system.
A poopy fart is one that comes very close to the time of fecal matter deposition. It often smells just like poop and can make others worry that you have made a mistake.
Poopy farts have less air flow and volume, but can cause a larger odor. This is not a fart to be tried in jumpfart form as it is just too close to the brink.
A poopy fart is a warning that you should find access to a toilet within a short amount of time. Failure to acknowledge this warning could cause stomach pain or a panic run to find a bathroom.
Note: If someone you are close too farts and it smells like actual poop, politely ask, “Did you poopy fart?” and if they say yes, be a gentleman (or lady) and keep the bathroom free for them for the next half hour or so.
Flatulence is the presence of a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals that are byproducts of the digestion process. Such a mixture of gases is known as flatus, and is expelled from the rectum in a process also known as flatulence, commonly referred to as farting.
Posted by Pete Stanky 
Posted by Pete Stanky 
Posted by Pete Stanky 
